Identity Crisis

It was a week before Christmas, many years ago, when I graduated from the infantry officer cadet school after 9 months of blood and sweat. The commanding officer gave us his final advice before the passing-out parade: “whenever you face difficult situation, just turn and look at the insignia on your shoulder”. And I did. From time to time, I gained confidence from believing that I could be ‘somebody’ because I belonged to an organization which, in this case, was the Arm-forces of my country.
The more I climbed the corporate ladder, the more obvious it seemed that people couldn’t but depend on title and status. It is like a survival kit, one can’t leave home without it. For example it is weird when greeting someone for the first time saying: “Hi, I’m Ben, …..”(silence). It is more likely the sentence is followed by “…manager of ABC company” or “…graduated from OPQ university” or “…minister of XYZ church.Christian -name-identity
We have to relate to someone or something somehow to find our existence. The Jews relate to their father, for example Bar-timaeus is the son of Timaeus. Similarly, Abdul Rahman bin Mohamed Ali refers to a Malay guy named Abdul Rahman and he is the son of Mohamed Ali. 
I have been jobless for some time now, and the habit of “title-dependency” can be quite depressing at times. Can I say “Hi, I’m Ben, a job-seeker or an under-aged retiree”? Now I can fully understand my wife title-less sacrifice all these years at home. Although “housewife” has been replaced by a nicer title called “homemaker”, it still doesn’t sound that glamorous after all. Does it?

Yet I know, even though I am nobody in the eyes of the world, I have a God as my Father and I have a King as my Brother. And Yes, I’m Ben, a Christian. Amen!               By Ben


4 thoughts on “Identity Crisis

  1. Ben, I used to work with a lady who said, “I work for God. Cumberland County Schools send me my paycheck.” I loved it. I retired early to have more time to write, which I consider my part-time job. At this point my writing doesn’t pay, or doesn’t pay well. How I do benefit, however, is through my journey of learning, growing, and stretching. I am so thankful for this opportunity. It fills me with joy.

    I believe God is molding you as his servant in whatever missions you participate. Thanks for this honest and thought-provoking post. I look forward to reading more from you! Keep posting here and seeking God in everyday life!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “It fills me with joy.” I like this.
      Joy is essential in whatever we do.
      Thank you for reading, for your encouragement and enlightenment.
      God bless and guide you in your writing too.
      ~~ Ben


    1. Peace to you Joyce,
      My wife, Renee, is the artist. I, Ben, take photos.
      We share this blog and post whatever inspiration from the Lord in thanksgiving for saving our marriage.
      Thank you for your support. God bless you!
      ~~ Ben


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